One of the significant people in my life doesn't seem to be able to fathom my longing for a conflict-free personal life, so I have been thinking a lot about why. Here are some of my initial thoughts:
- Conflict takes energy. I do not see myself as an energetic person, and in fact, I usually have an energy deficit just performing my normal day-to-day responsibilities. I covet personal time with my family and friends to recharge, not deplete me.
- I fulfill any need for conflict virtually these days. And mostly what I mean by that is reality TV. When this phenomenon first appeared on our tv in the form of "Survivor", I thought it was really dumb. But I find myself getting caught up in the ones where I can actually imagine myself (in another life) as a competitor - Top Chef, Project Runway, a lot of the Bravo, career-specific ones. (Believe me, running around in a remote location is NOT my thing.) I can imagine myself in the place of the chefs, designers, decorators, and even the rich housewives. Their conflict becomes my conflict, neatly resolved at the end of the season, if not the end of the episode. My desire for the mental stimulation that my amigo craves is fulfilled through the TV screen. I don't need it live.
- Conflict can be stimulating, but the negative is that in this day and age of limited restraint of expression, it can and most often is painful. Even playing the "devil's advocate" (in my experience) often devolves into personal insult wrapped up in intellectual proposition. Either we no longer have the thick skin of our forebearers who spoke for hours on end at debates in front of large crowds, or we no longer have the ability to edit what we say and do. I prefer to avoid hurting people.
Musing for today is done. We'll see what else crosses my neurons in the coming days.
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